Phoenix Rising

I have been turning wood on a lathe for the last year or so. I enjoy it and it allows me to create beauty. There is an old story of a bird called the phoenix.

Wikipedia states:
“In Greek mythology, and in the Talmud, a phoenix (Ancient Greek: φοῖνιξ phoînix; Latin: phoenix, phœnix, fenix) is a long-lived bird that is cyclically regenerated or born again. Associated with the Sun, the phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor.”

I think that the phoenix should be one of the symbols of PTSD or perhaps my ptsd “spirit animal”. When I was diagnosed with PTSD and removed from my position as a Paramedic it was extremely difficult on me, initially I kept telling myself I loved the job and would be back very soon but days turned into weeks which turned into months and now almost 3 years later I don’t have a job to go back to. It wasn’t until this morning when I started to dabble into LinkedIn that I realized the lessons I am learning from wood turning.

When I am looking at a log or a downed tree I am able to look past what it is and more to what it can be, you see, I take a section out of that tree and cut it with a chainsaw and band saw until it resembles a rounded block called a blank. (A beautifully significant name because it is no longer a tree it is a clean “blank” slate able to become anything.)

I look at this hunk of wood that used to be a log of irregular shape and although it used to be a part of something bigger than itself, it is no longer. I can see the rings of the tree and muse that it has the same number of rings that I had years of service as a paramedic. The rings are not all equal, some years produced large growth rings while others produced only small, lean years of growth. Upon further inspection I can see little areas of infection and decay because the tree lay on the ground. Funny how similar this piece of wood and I are and so I take this wood, find its center and mount it on the lathe…. I take a deep breath in and let it out as I take a moment to relax and center myself, in this moment we both have purpose and we both have an inner beauty waiting to be discovered, or dare I suggest waiting to be reborn out of the ashes. My friends there is life after PTSD and if you can’t see it yourself, please trust me and lean on me and if you would like get in touch and I’ll teach you to wood turn and we can just hang out and know your not alone. A fantastic resource I recommend is #Ivegotyourback911

More about the turning process and evolution of beauty next time…